Science: Cuddling is key to a committed and loving relationship (2024)

Science: Cuddling is key to a committed and loving relationship (1)

(Image credit: (Courtesy Shutterstock))

By Chris Gayomali

last updated

Sex, hugs, cuddling, hand-holding, and even innocent little kisses before you dash out the door to work every morning — all of them pay dividends toward a long and loving relationship. And now we have the science to back it up.

According to a new study, the culprit is our old friend oxytocin, a.k.a. the "love hormone." Its levels shoot up whenever we make physical contact with someone important to us.

It's widely understood that its reward system plays a crucial role in deepening the bond between two lovers. Past studies have suggested that it may help keep men from cheating, while others point to its dark side, which can make an abrupt breakup feel physiologically devastating.

Subscribe to The Week

Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Science: Cuddling is key to a committed and loving relationship (2)

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

Sign up

Humans and many mammals are monogamous creatures (at least most of the time). What makes us go out of our way to lock ourselves into a committed relationship is still largely a mystery, suggesting there's some sort of biological advantage. "Monogamy is actually quite costly for humans, so there must be some form of benefit," said Rene Hurlemann, a psychiatrist at the University of Bonn in Germany who led the most recent study. "We'd expect humans, especially males, would disseminate their genes."

So what's inspiring warm-blooded males to stay loyal?

Researchers, publishing their findings in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, discovered that regular jolts of oxytocin make our partners more attractive, to us and only us.

Hurlemann and his colleagues took 20 men who were in long-term and passionate romantic relationships with women, hooked them up to functional magnetic resonance imaging scanners, and showed them photos of their loved ones interspersed with images of an unfamiliar but equally comely stranger, or a house. Some men were spritzed with oxytocin, others with a placebo. To test whether oxytocin varied only with familiarity, they substituted highly familiar faces for the house images. Afterward, the men filled out the Passionate Love Scale questionnaire, which showed that their inner Romeo prevailed over their inner Lothario. They were fixated on their current romantic partner. [Los Angeles Times]

Makes sense. A "steady diet" of oxytocin helps trigger the release of dopamine, which means we're almost literally addicted to the person we're in love with. Cuddling is a drug, so to speak.

Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox

A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com

Such findings give us a better understanding of how some couples manage to make it for the long haul, and explains why physical support is tied so intrinsically with our emotional health. Take our friends John and Ann Betar, who eloped on Nov. 25, 1932, and, in addition to being completely adorable and amazing, are still madly in love with one another. What's their secret after 81 years of marriage?

"We always hold hands," said John.

To continue reading this article...

Create a free account

Continue reading this article and get limited website access each month.

register for free

Already have an account? Sign in

Subscribe to The Week

Get unlimited website access, exclusive newsletters plus much more.

Subscribe & Save

Cancel or pause at any time.

Already a subscriber to The Week?

Unlimited website access is included with Digital and Print + Digital subscriptions.
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.

Not sure which email you used for your subscription? Contact us

Chris Gayomali

Chris Gayomali is the science and technology editor for TheWeek.com. Previously, he was a tech reporter at TIME. His work has also appeared in Men's Journal, Esquire, and The Atlantic, among other places. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

Latest
  • Why is Trump obsessed with sharks?The ExplainerHow to understand the former president's deep and abiding fixation on one of nature's perfect killing machines.By Rafi Schwartz, The Week USPublished 13 June 24
  • 'We must instead learn how to do better science faster'Instant OpinionOpinion, comment and editorials of the dayBy Justin Klawans, The Week USPublished 13 June 24
  • DNA suggests Mayans sacrificed boy siblingsSpeed ReadThese findings "flew in the face of the argument that it was mostly young virgin women" being sacrificedBy Peter Weber, The Week USPublished 13 June 24
Science: Cuddling is key to a committed and loving relationship (2024)

FAQs

What does science say about cuddling? ›

When we touch – cuddle, hug, or holding hands – our bodies release “feel good” hormones. These hormones include oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Once the hormones are released into our bodies we experience feelings of happiness, relaxation, improve mood, and lower levels of depression.

How important is cuddling in a relationship? ›

In particular, oxytocin helps us bond with others, form memories, and, as Goerlich noted, feel “warm-fuzzy feelings.” So when the cuddles are romantic, the embrace can make us feel more infatuated, in love, or generally romantic toward our partner. In other words, “it bonds partners together,” says David Tzall.

What is the psychology of cuddling? ›

Even just a few minutes of couple cuddling time supports oxytocin production, lifting your mood, lowering your stress levels, and promoting a sense of calm and contentment. This hormone can also reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, increasing feelings of happiness and well-being.

What is the chemistry of cuddling? ›

Just the simple act of touch seems boost oxytocin release. Giving someone a massage, cuddling, making love, or giving someone a hug leads to higher levels of this hormone and a greater sense of well-being. Oxytocin is just one of the four feel-good hormones.

Do guys release oxytocin when cuddling? ›

Men don't produce the same high levels of oxytocin as women do. But men tend to “mood match” their partners, so if their lady is feeling a rush of that good good, their oxytocin will spike. Hold a man close to you, and he will take in some of your hormonal happy rush.

Why do guys' heart beat fast when cuddling? ›

Here's how it works: The brain sends signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine. They flow through the blood and cause the heart to beat faster and stronger, Ho said.

Why is cuddling important to men? ›

"Cuddling, especially with someone you like, gives you a sense of closeness and relaxed intimacy that's difficult to find in other activities. If you feel comfortable with the other person, it kind of just let's you relax and not have to do much physically.

Can guys cuddle without feelings? ›

Is cuddling a sign of love? Cuddling is typically a sign that a person is interested or has affection towards you, but it doesn't necessarily translate into love. Regarding how they feel about cuddling, some people believe may see it as incredibly intimate, while others enjoy cuddling even in platonic friendships.

Can lack of affection ruin relationships? ›

Studies have shown that a lack of physical intimacy can give rise to feelings of neglect, loneliness, and emotional disconnection. The effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship can lead to a breakdown in communication and create an emotional distance between partners.

Why does cuddling your partner feel so good? ›

Cuddling releases oxytocin and promotes positive emotions. It's no surprise that affectionate touch behaviors release oxytocin, fondly known as the “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin is a natural love hormone that helps us feel closer to our partners.

What love hormone is cuddling? ›

As oxytocin is associated with trust, sexual arousal and relationship building, it's sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical.” Oxytocin levels also increase when you're hugging someone and when you're experiencing an org*sm.

Why does cuddling make you attached? ›

Touch and other displays of affection trigger the release of oxytocin, a hormone linked to closeness and trust. This hormone promotes a feeling of togetherness and strengthens the bonds between people. Second, passionate cuddling can be beneficial to both physical and emotional health.

Is cuddling a form of love? ›

Yes, cuddling is a form of physical intimacy that involves close and affectionate physical contact between individuals. It fosters emotional connection, trust, and bonding, deepening the sense of intimacy between partners.

What triggers oxytocin release in males? ›

Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus and stimulates uterine contraction and milk ejection. While many people consider oxytocin to be a female hormone, it is reported that, in men, the plasma oxytocin level increases markedly after ejacul*tion.

What is the male love hormone? ›

According to love biologist Dawn Maslar, the chemicals dopamine and vasopressin are vital for a man to start falling in love, whereas it's oxytocin and dopamine for women. Oxytocin, often nicknamed the love or cuddle hormone, also plays an important role in men, but at a later stage.

Are there studies on the benefits of cuddling? ›

One couples study found that simply holding hands for 10 minutes, followed by a 20-second hug, lowered blood pressure. Another study found that more frequent hugging can both lower blood pressure and increase oxytocin.

What hormone does cuddling release? ›

As oxytocin is associated with trust, sexual arousal and relationship building, it's sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle chemical.” Oxytocin levels also increase when you're hugging someone and when you're experiencing an org*sm.

What is the science behind hugging people? ›

A hug lowers blood pressure. When you hug, touch, or sit close to someone you love, your body releases oxytocin, which scientists call the “cuddle hormone.” This hormone can help relax and lower anxiety, which in turn can effectively lower blood pressure. It boosts heart health.

Why does cuddling in bed feel so good? ›

As mentioned above, sleeping next to someone you love can create a strong bond between partners due to the release of oxytocin during cuddling and spooning in bed. Additionally, just being physically close to someone that you love at any point in the day can make you feel better.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Errol Quitzon

Last Updated:

Views: 6120

Rating: 4.9 / 5 (59 voted)

Reviews: 82% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Errol Quitzon

Birthday: 1993-04-02

Address: 70604 Haley Lane, Port Weldonside, TN 99233-0942

Phone: +9665282866296

Job: Product Retail Agent

Hobby: Computer programming, Horseback riding, Hooping, Dance, Ice skating, Backpacking, Rafting

Introduction: My name is Errol Quitzon, I am a fair, cute, fancy, clean, attractive, sparkling, kind person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.