Oh Good – This Is How Many Hugs We Actually Need A Day (2024)

Oh Good – This Is How Many Hugs We Actually Need A Day (1)

FG Trade via Getty Images

Touch-deprived gang, I can only apologise for the quote I’m about to share: ”We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

The quip comes from Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist. And it falls along similar lines to a 1995 study, which found “that four hugs per day was an antidote for depression, eight hugs per day would achieve mental stability and twelve hugs per day would achieve real psychological growth.”

A loving embrace sets your mental health, your immune system, and even your pain threshold up for success. And while it can be hard to quantify exactly how many hugs we need a day, the range seems to be minimum four, maximum – well, there is no maximum.

Here’s why hugging is so good for you – and how you can simulate its benefits if you don’t have a cuddle bud in your life.

Cuddling can be good for your heart, immune, and mental health

In a 2003 US study, one set of couples were shown romantic videos, held hands for ten minutes, and cuddled for 20 minutes. Another set sat in silence. The couples who held hands and hugged had lower blood pressure and heart rates than those who didn’t.

Another 2013 study found that hugging seemed to alleviate anxiety and low self-esteem. In fact, any touch at all seemed to help – “The experimenter handed the participants questionnaires to fill out; for some of the participants, she accompanied the questionnaire with a light, open-palmed touch on the participant’s shoulder blade that lasted about 1 second.”

“Interestingly, participants with low self-esteem who received the brief touch reported less death anxiety on the questionnaire than those who had not been touched,” the study revealed.

Yet ANOTHER study showed that hugging appeared to make a person less likely to become sick. And you could be less likely to become seriously ill when you do catch an illness, too.

OK, so... what do you want me to do about that?

If you have a partner, friends who enjoy being touchy-feely, or close family members, the instructions are a little simpler: ask for hugs! Hug! Get hugged! Yay!

However, if you’re one of the many people suffering from “touch starvation,” or a chronic lack of physical contact, reaping the benefits of a good snuggle could be harder.

Still, there are some ways of snagging those health-boosting happy chemicals hugging provides, partner or not. These include:

Advertisem*nt

  • Hugging a pet if you have one
  • Hugging a soft toy – remember that anxiety/self-esteem study? They found that a teddy was helpful
  • Hugging yourself (yes, this works)
  • Using a weighted blanket
  • Booking a massage or getting your hair washed (yep, really)

BRB, nabbing my beloved weighted blanket...

Help and support:

  • Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
  • Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
  • Beat, Adult Helpline: 0808 801 0677 and Youthline: 0808 801 0711 or email help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk (adults) fyp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk (youth support)
  • CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
  • The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org
Oh Good – This Is How Many Hugs We Actually Need A Day (2024)

FAQs

Oh Good – This Is How Many Hugs We Actually Need A Day? ›

The quip comes from Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist. And it falls along similar lines to a 1995 study, which found “that four hugs per day was an antidote for depression, eight hugs per day would achieve mental stability and twelve hugs per day would achieve real psychological growth.”

Do we really need 8 hugs a day? ›

The quip comes from Virginia Satir, a world-renowned family therapist. And it falls along similar lines to a 1995 study, which found “that four hugs per day was an antidote for depression, eight hugs per day would achieve mental stability and twelve hugs per day would achieve real psychological growth.”

How many hugs does Dr love say to give a day to be happier? ›

So let Dr. Love offer you a prescription: eight hugs a day. We've shown that if you give eight hugs a day you'll be happier, and the world will be a better place because you'll be causing others' brains to release oxytocin.

How many hugs do we need a day for our boyfriend? ›

Talking about hugs, psychologist Virginia Satir said: "We need 4 hugs a day to survive, 8 hugs a day to sustain and 12 hugs a day to thrive". And scientists also say that each hug should be lasted for about 10 seconds to bring more effects to the opponent.

How many hugs a day does a child need? ›

The truth is, there is no set amount of hugs a child needs to thrive. “There is no magic number, and children vary in the amount of physical affection they want and need,” says Dr. Franz. She adds that as a general rule, younger children generally seek more hugs than older kids.

What happens if you get no hugs a day? ›

When you don't get enough physical touch, you can become stressed, anxious, or depressed. As a response to stress, your body makes a hormone called cortisol. This can cause your heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and breathing rate to go up, with bad effects for your immune and digestive systems.

Do guys feel breasts while hugging? ›

It depends on the type of hug, but often a guy can feel her breast against him when hugging. When a guy hugs a girl he feels the softness of her body, and if there is breast contact, he feels that softness to. That doesn't mean he gets turned on, only that he can feel the contact.

What is the 20 second hug rule? ›

A 20-second hug allows your body to release a significant amount of oxytocin, helping you de-stress after a long day and promoting a positive mindset. 2. Enhanced Emotional Bond: Physical touch, like hugging, is a powerful way to strengthen emotional connections with loved ones.

Where to touch a guy while hugging? ›

You can put both arms around his neck and keep one palm gently on the nape of his neck. If your arms are around his neck, run your fingers softly through the hair at the base of his neck. If your arms are around his torso, rub his back gently. A behind-the-back hug can also be a good way to hug a guy hello.

How do guys feel when a girl hugs them? ›

When guys get hugs from ladies, they can experience a strong sense of affection. A hug can make them feel cherished and loved. However, he and the lady might not be romantically linked, as it could be a platonic friendship. This feeling of affection can create a warm and positive bond between them.

How often should your husband hug you? ›

A daily 20-second hug will lower stress, increase connection, and make your marriage come alive.

How often do couples cuddle? ›

In the few reported studies on cuddling in committed romantic relationships, the average amount of time spent cuddling is about 30-40 minutes and occurs 3 to 5 times a week. Couples will typically cuddle in bed pre- and post-sex, as well as in the mornings.

How long should a hug last in a relationship? ›

Looking to give your loved one the perfect hug? Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds.

Is it true that you need 4 hugs a day? ›

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, American Author and Psychotherapist. With social distancing restrictions dramatically reducing human contact for more than a year, it seems that we're all long overdue for a hug.

How many hugs does a girl need a day? ›

As author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.

Why do I crave hugs? ›

When you feel a need to be hugged, you want that same "contact comfort." It's the same type of comfort the monkeys in Harlow's experiment craved. It's the same sort of comfort that infants want from their caregivers. It's physically and emotionally crucial for an infant's psychological development.

Is it true that you need hugs? ›

According to the research, a hug may make an individual feel happy by reducing feelings of loneliness and the harmful physical effects of stress. Hugs can change negative moods by helping the body and brain and boosting these feel-good hormones.

Do hugs boost your immune system? ›

“Hugs cause a decrease in the release of cortisol, a stress hormone, and other research indicates that hugs decrease your blood pressure and heart rate in stressful situations,” he adds. Additional research found that giving and receiving hugs can actually strengthen your immune system.

What are the benefits of a 30 second hug? ›

The benefits go far beyond that warm, cosy feeling you get when someone wraps you in their arms. When we hug, our bodies release feel-good hormones — oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin — and we instantly feel happier, more relaxed, and less depressed. In short, our brains know this and yearn for it.

What is the best friend hug theory? ›

The theory also states that friends who do repeatedly hug one another are continually overstepping these boundaries, and so therefore the friendship is doomed to fail.

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Dr. Pierre Goyette

Last Updated:

Views: 6659

Rating: 5 / 5 (70 voted)

Reviews: 85% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Dr. Pierre Goyette

Birthday: 1998-01-29

Address: Apt. 611 3357 Yong Plain, West Audra, IL 70053

Phone: +5819954278378

Job: Construction Director

Hobby: Embroidery, Creative writing, Shopping, Driving, Stand-up comedy, Coffee roasting, Scrapbooking

Introduction: My name is Dr. Pierre Goyette, I am a enchanting, powerful, jolly, rich, graceful, colorful, zany person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.