Even though I’m a fully grown adult.
I’ve always had a bit of a manual fixation.
Basically, I sort of go crazy when my hands have nothing to do.
I always have to have something in my hands, or I sort of feel like I’m going to explode.
As a result, it’s almost impossible for me to get to sleep without holding something.
That’s the main reason I collected so many stuffed animals as a kid. Without them, I would have nothing to do with my hands at night. Thus, I couldn’t fall asleep.
When you’re a kid, it’s socially acceptable to hold a stuffed animal in your arms as you sleep. But as soon as you reach adolescence, people seem to view it as almost creepy.
We think, “How dare an adult get enjoyment out of something made for children?” as if there aren’t plenty of fully grown adults who religiously watch the latest Disney movies.
Anyway, when a teen or adult sleeps with a toy, we tend to assume that person is developmentally stunted. Or that they have a weird obsession with children’s items.
Whatever the case may be, people generally don’t think it’s acceptable.
Those people are just plain wrong.
There is nothing weird, immature, or creepy about an adult choosing to go to bed with a stuffed animal in their arms.
In fact, according to a 2017 survey, about 40% of American adults still sleep with one. Many of them have kept their favorite teddy bear from childhood but are ashamed to admit it.
I don’t think it should be shameful at all.
Some people sleep with a stuffed animal to cope with feelings of loneliness or sadness. Some can’t bear to part with their childhood comfort object. And some, like me, simply need to hold something in order to reach dreamland.
Even if I didn’t, I would still be sleeping with one these days. Why? Because of my girlfriend.
I met D last fall when she was in my city for a job training. After matching on Tinder, we began a relationship almost instantly. Right away, I knew she was different from all of my past exes. She actually treated me the way I deserved to be treated.
One day we were out shopping at a comic book store. Well, D was intently shopping and I was just sort of browsing. I came across a section of stuffed animals.
I wasn’t particularly searching for one. Still, D saw me looking. When it came time to check out, I noticed that she had bought me a stuffed elephant.
“Because you’re my Ellie-phant,” she said.
Nowadays, I keep that elephant on my coffee table and snuggle up to it whenever I’m watching my shows.
D eventually had to go back to her home state after her job training was over, so we’re in a long-distance relationship now. We’re eventually going to move in together after all this Covid-19 stuff is over.
But for now, we have to settle for video calls and exchanging random gifts that remind us of each other.
She had to return home just before Christmas last year. I got her a plush of Genesect, her favorite Pokemon. She got me a plush of one of my favorites, Sobble.
Some of our first conversations over Tinder were about Pokemon, so the franchise holds a special place in my heart. As do the stuffed animals she’s gotten me.
For Valentine’s Day, I sent her a teddy bear holding a red love heart that says, “I miss your face.”
She told me she cuddles up to it every night and pretends it’s me.
Honestly, I do the same with my Sobble and my elephant. And pretty much every other stuffed animal I have.
I used to sleep with them purely because my hands needed something to hold. I didn’t imagine I was snuggling up to anyone in particular. But now that I’m in a long-distance relationship, cuddling with these stuffed animals helps me cope with the fact that D isn’t here with me.
