Empaths are the incredible people who understand other’s emotions and feelings very accurately. They have caring nature and loyal attitude, it is sure that if an empath falls in love with someone, the love would be full of honesty, care, and trust. They never harm others physically and psychologically, because they know how if feels like if someone harms others. They always adjust their level according to the other person to make them feel same. They are selfless kind of people, who listen and understand others because of an ability to understand other’s point of view without making judgements. If you agreed to most of the points in above sentences, this means that you are definitely an empath.
- How do you see life, others, and self?
- Write down the situations in which you understood other’s feelings accurately.
- Write down your highest emotional level.
The disadvantage of being an empath is that you can easily get attracted towards toxic people, because you care about others and understand their reason of action, so you do emotional reasoning of their behaviors. You think that they have been through a lot and how they are feeling, this makes them taking advantage of you or abuse you.
You will forgive them for their abuse, and doubt yourself, your constant forgiveness gives them the idea that no matter what they do to you, you will never leave them, seeing that you care about them and know that you have gone through from abuse or trauma in childhood.
Toxic people do not take stand for themselves, and they seek for a person who has empathic tendencies since they know empaths will stand for themselves and fulfil their needs. You never get an idea that how much you are giving and how much you are taking because you have a tendency to give selflessly without asking in return.
If you are an empath with the need for codependency, toxic people can abuse you for the reason that they know you are dependent on them on any level, and they ignore you in order to make yourself feel incomplete without them so you will continue to be abused. You love your partner, and you keep bearing the abuse for the sake of with them and will not get isolated.
An empath knows the true value to reassurance. However, they never get reassurance from their toxic partners, and they left empty in the end. It is heart breaking that your partner abuses you because you love him or her the most and they just think about themselves and their needs, and you never confront them cause of fear of being alone and you keep tolerating their abuse. Codependency gets worse if your partner criticizes your self-worth and you start believing them.
It is happening since you are emotionally dependent on them and ask love from external source, if you love and reassure yourself, you will become less emotionally dependent on them and give less chance to get abused as well.
They give you attention, love, and whatever you want, so you have reasons to be in a relationship. This unpredictability leads you to think that your partner would change and by this hope you will continue to live in a relationship.
Warning signs of emotional abuse.
- They have sense of superiority and criticize you.
- The relationship is moving too fast.
- They dominate your life.
- They obsess over your social media activity.
- They are hypervigilant.
- They always blame you.
- They degrade and humiliate you.
- They neglect or ignore you.
- They have unrealistic expectations.
- They isolate you from your social network.
- They treat you poorly.
Reflection
How to stop yourself from attracting them?
After answering to these questions, learn about the traits of toxic and narcissist people. After educating yourself you will better gain the signs of emotional abuse and you will better put yourself away from these types of people.
- Are you codependent or not?
- List down the times when you accept abuse because of fear of being alone.
Make self-love a priority, it is important for a person to love oneself unconditionally. When a person does not love oneself, he or she will seek a love from others and toxic people hunt for them and play their tactics. Remember that abuse is not accepted in any way, whether the person is giving you love if you feel like a victim of abuse then you should take stand for yourself or else you will end up being mentally damaged. Remind yourself, you can empathize with others and make your boundaries firm.
- Imagine yourself the most important person in the world.
- List down your positive strengths and values in life.
- Define your boundaries.
- Give yourself love on an extent to which you will not ask love and reassurance from others.
- Give yourself gifts, do shopping, buy your favorite things.
- Get a haircut or massage.
- Write down the activities you can do to feel good.
- Identify the different between healthy and unhealthy relationship.
It is not possible to label the person “abuser” in initial meetings, but from the above signs you can have an idea whether to go further or stop here.
