Making a Meal for a Date: When Is the Right Time? (2024)

Style|Making a Meal for a Date: When Is the Right Time?

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/04/style/making-a-meal-for-a-date-when-is-the-right-time.html

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Third Wheel

Cooking for someone you’re seeing in the early stages of dating can be a great way to make a good impression. Or a clear sign that you’re hooked.

Making a Meal for a Date: When Is the Right Time? (1)

Making a Meal for a Date: When Is the Right Time? (2)

By Gina Cherelus

In the Third Wheel column, Gina Cherelus explores the delights and horrors of sex, dating and relationships.

In a scene from the 1997 romantic comedy “Love Jones,” a young poet named Darius recounts to his friend over a game of pool how his first date went with Nina, a beautiful photographer he recently met. They ended up having sex that night, and the next morning, he got up and made breakfast.

“You made breakfast?” his friend asks in disbelief. Darius barely knows this woman.

“I was in there cooking,” Darius answers.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait — you cooked what?”

“A cheese omelet.”

Cooking in the early stages of dating can be impossibly loaded with meaning. Sometimes, as in Darius’s case, it’s an impulsive act that signals real feelings — whether or not the cooker is aware of them yet. It can also be an intentional Friday night plan. Regardless, there’s usually a lot of thought that goes into that first meal. And a lot riding on it, too.

Despite Darius’s claims that he and Nina were “just kickin’ it,” the eggs were a clear sign that he had already fallen hard.

So when is the right time to cook for someone you’re dating but not yet in a relationship with? Do you try a new recipe, or stick to what you know? And do certain dishes create certain impressions? An editor I work with joked that once you roast a chicken together, you’re in full relationship mode. And if you ask social media, any variation of Alfredo pasta is hopelessly played out.

One morning I woke up with someone I was dating and had the urge to make breakfast. Usually I would have waited until he had left or would have kept it simple with eggs, but then I remembered he had mentioned liking French toast. Before I knew it, I was dipping slices of bread into milk and beaten eggs to pan-fry and eat with a man I wasn’t officially with. I later laughed at the realization that, like Darius, I liked this person a lot more than I was able to see at the time.

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Making a Meal for a Date: When Is the Right Time? (2024)

FAQs

What time should you meet for a dinner date? ›

Depends on where you are going and doing. If you're going on a date to dinner maybe around 6 or 7 pm to make it more romantic But if it's just to go eat at a casual restaurant or do something fun try 3,4 or 5 pm.

Should the man always pay for the meal while on a date? ›

Whoever asks for the date should pay the bill.

If you don't plan on paying for the bill, it's still polite to reach for your wallet whenever the check comes. Your date will probably insist that they've got it, and you can thank them for taking you out.

Is making dinner together a good date? ›

Working together to make something delicious, away from screens, can be a great change of pace during an otherwise hectic workweek. The ritual of cooking, itself, is a great way to get to know your date a little better and deepen your connection, regardless of how long you've known one another!

Is it too soon to cook for him? ›

Cooking for someone you're seeing in the early stages of dating can be a great way to make a good impression. Or a clear sign that you're hooked.

What time is a good time for a date? ›

These successful pairings happened more often on Tuesdays than on any other day of the week. So, what time of the day should you plan your date? Tuesday dates that happen after 6 p.m. are the best for success. In fact, dates planned on Tuesday evenings turned out favorably 25% more often than those in the afternoon.

Is 2 hours good for a first date? ›

On average, a first date should last a little less than three hours (2.72), and it takes respondents about four dates to feel comfortable with that person. Almost one-third (31%) of respondents feel the least comfortable part about going on a first date is the nerves.

Who pays for the meal on a date? ›

Don't read into anything too deeply. On the flip side, if she quickly concedes and virtually grabs your credit card herself, don't imagine that she just wants to be friends. Etiquette dictates that the man should pay, so don't go running to the bathroom for a conciliatory sob if she doesn't reach for her purse.

How long should a guy pay for dates? ›

Dating expert Amy Nobile recommends that men in heterosexual relationships pick up the bill on all of the dates before a couple becomes exclusive.

What is going dutch on a date? ›

Going Dutch means paying your own way.

So if you and your date go to a restaurant, you would each pay for whatever you ate.

How long should a date dinner last? ›

The key is to talk about them to ensure you're both on the same page. Given the 45-minute rule, the average date lasted 75 minutes. According to the date feedback process, most of the dates ran around one hour and 15 minutes. Of course, wait staff and busyness of the restaurant play a role in this as well.

Do you kiss after a dinner date? ›

Wait until the end of the date to initiate a kiss.

The end of the first, second, or third date is often when that magical first kiss occurs. Usually, a kiss acts as a goodbye—and though it doesn't always mean a follow-up date is on the horizon, it's a good way to let your date know if you'd like to see them again.

Is going to dinner with a guy a date? ›

Dinner dates have a traditional and cultural significance. They provide an intimate setting for two people to connect on a deeper level, face-to-face. It signifies a willingness to share and be vulnerable, which is crucial in the early stages of a romantic relationship.

Does a man like when you cook for him? ›

Cooking for him allows you to show that you are caring, nurturing, and creative. These qualities can keep your man's attention and deepen love and intimacy over time.

When a guy lets you try his food? ›

Rozin found that the act of sharing food is a sign of social intimacy. The initial nonverbal communication of letting someone else eat off your plate shows a deeper connection than one you would have with a stranger.

When a man wants to cook for you? ›

According to Harrison Forman, host of the live dating show UpDating, cooking dinner for a date is “without a doubt a romantic gesture,” one that signals a relationship is entering “more intimate” territory.

Is 7pm too late for dinner? ›

When to eat dinner. A good rule of thumb, Kopp suggests, is not to go more than three to four hours without eating. For example, if you eat lunch around noon, it would be a good idea to have a snack around 3 p.m. and dinner between 6 and 7 p.m.

What is a good time to invite for dinner? ›

Heather Wiese, etiquette columnist and founder of lifestyle brand Bell'INVITO, agrees that the ideal time falls around 7 p.m. with a little leeway before and after. “When I'm throwing a dinner party on a weeknight, I'll often say arrive any time after 6:30 p.m., dinner is at 7:30. People need time to wrap up their day.

When should you show up for dinner? ›

Rule of thumb: Show up to a dinner party right on time or up to 15 minutes after the scheduled start time. This is the optimal window for dodging any uncomfortable lateness or earliness — both of which can be unpleasant for the host. Arriving early puts your host in an uncomfortable position.

How early should you arrive for a date? ›

Show up five minutes early

Chances are, this date is just as nerve-wracking for her as it is for you, and for her to walk in and be greeted by you as soon as she arrives automatically alleviates the first anxiety-inducing concern: Is he even going to show up? If you're picking her up, arrive a few minutes early.

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