Brooklyn Beckham, the eldest progeny of the clan which holds his name, revealed a new tattoo on his Instagram feed this week. A baroque conflation of cherubs (five of them) cascading down from his clavicle to his right nipple. It’s his biggest tattoo to date and easily his most prominent. It’s also the latest addition to a growing collection, which also includes a larger cherub above his naval and a small "mama’s boy" inscription on his left pectoral.
How I feel about tattoos (masoch*stic scrawlings of existential angst that age as well as soft fruit in a desert) aside, they've never been more popular. It’s estimated that one in three young adults aged between 20 and 40 in the UK have some kind of tattoo – a figure that looks set to increase over the next five years.
That 19-year-old Brooklyn has just been inked in such a dramatic way, therefore, probably shouldn’t come as a surprise. Beckham Snr, after all, has more than 40 tattoos and his ever-expanding dermatological tapestry has never done him any harm...
The thing is, when it comes to actually getting a tattoo, we don’t all have the genetic pedigree of the Beckhams. Nor do the majority of us have the time, money or lack of concern about what our potential bosses might think to get inked willy-nilly. So here, to help you decide whether or not you should, in fact, get that new tat, is the tattoophobe’s guide to the dos and don’ts of getting a tattoo, plus the best tattoos for men from Instagram.
Don’t
But that’s just me.
Do think carefully about where on your body you are going to get it
An obvious one, this, but before you get a tattoo you should try and think of all the potential scenarios in which your tattoo will be seen by the general public and/or family members/prospective partners. If it’s your first time, start with something discreet in an unobtrusive area of your body (on the underside of your upper arm/on your hip) and see how you get on with it. Think of your new tattoo as you would a new skin product – patch test it first before splashing it on all over the place. Legs, necks, forearms and faces are tricky. You’ve really got to believe in the tattoo you’re getting (and the fact that it will work with your personal style forever) if you intend on getting one on any of the aformentioned areas of your body.
Don’t get anything that will go out of fashion
Brand names/celebrity faces/catch phrases/band logos – avoid anything that won’t age as well as you do.
Don’t get anything that relates to a lover
Any kind of tattoo that pertains to a former, current or prospective life partner should be avoided at all costs. The sad but realistic chances are that you won’t feel the same about said partner a decade after you get it done (one in three marriages end in divorce, after all), so stay away from girlfriends' faces, boyfriends' names and initialed hearts at all costs. If in doubt, think, "What wouldn’t Johnny Depp do?"
Do think hard before getting anything above your clavicle
I know, I know, neck and face tattoos are a "thing". There’s something particularly menacing (and, let’s face it, a little bit sexy) about a handsome inked face, but these kind of tattoos are absolutely not for everyone. Also, remember that if you ever want to get anything removed from those areas you’ll end up with scar tissue where the tattoo once was.
