When a Guy Hugs You with Both Arms: What Does It Mean? (2024)

Co-authored byImad Jbaraand Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: March 13, 2023Fact Checked

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   He’s saying hello or goodbye. Lots of people hug when greeting each other, especially if they’re excited to spend time with the person they’re hugging. And once the hangout is done, he might hug you again to say he’ll miss you.^[1]

   • Even if you’re not particularly close—say, he’s a friend of a friend or a coworker—some people offer quick hugs as a greeting or goodbye to acquaintances and close pals alike.
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   He’s grateful for you. Have you helped him with a tough situation lately, or cheered him on as he worked through a difficult time? Whether you recently did him a favor or he’s just generally thankful for the support and care you’ve shown him throughout your relationship, his hug might be his way of saying he appreciates you.

   • If he hugs you to show gratitude, he might accompany it with a verbal note of thanks, but not necessarily.^[2]

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   He feels protective of you. A big old bear hug is a great way to show someone you care for them and don’t want anything to happen to them. Your guy’s hug could be a way of trying to keep you safe and sound, physically or emotionally (or both).^[3]

   • He may hug you protectively because he wants to come off as strong and heroic. Embracing you could be his way of showing how strong and powerful he is.
   • While many of these interpretations could apply to one-armed hugs as well as two-armed hugs, a guy is more likely to hug you with both arms to protect you.
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   He wants to celebrate with you. Whether he just scored the game-winning goal or you got the promotion you’d been gunning for, your guy might wrap you in a two-armed embrace to show you how excited he is. He might be caught up in the moment, or he might be super stoked at the good fortune.

   • A hug to celebrate will likely be more enthusiastic and might be accompanied by laughter, smiling, or raucous cheering.
   • Note how other people are celebrating around you to see if his behavior stands out—for instance, if you’re at your college graduation, there’s probably lots of congratulatory hugging going on.^[4]
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   He wants to comfort you. Are you going through a tough time? Maybe you’re just having “one of those days.” Your guy could embrace you to try to lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself, or simply to remind you that you’re not alone.^[5]

   • If he hugs you to try to comfort you, it’s probably more likely to be a sustained, close hug rather than a brief, light embrace.
   • It’s also possible that he’s the one in need of comfort! If he seems down, he may need reassurance and not know how to ask for it.^[6]
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   He’s being affectionate. Whether you’re platonic pals or something more, he could just want to show you he cares about you—nothing more to it! A hug could be his way to show he likes you and wants you to feel special.

   • Actually, studies indicate that the more hugs we get a day, the happier we are. 4 hugs may help combat depression; 8 hugs may help the recipient achieve mental stability; and 12 hugs a day can help you achieve real psychological growth!^[7]
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   He likes you as more than a friend. Have you gotten romantic vibes from this guy before? If so, hugging you could be his way of hinting that he’d like to take your relationship to a romantic level without saying so directly. He might be trying to get a closer look at you, to smell you, or because he wants to be romantically or sexually intimate.

   • Is his embrace tight and intimate? Does he rub your back? Does he wrap his arms around your lower back? These signs may tell you if his hug is romantic.
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   He’s being nefarious. It's possible he's hugging you to try to cop a feel, or he could even be attempting to pick your pocket. Hopefully neither of these are the case, but if you suspect they are, be wary.

   • Some people use “friendly” physical contact like hugs as an excuse to touch people inappropriately, or to get them accustomed to their touch so that they can escalate it to inappropriate touching.^[8]
   • How does he behave with other people? Is he lecherous and touchy-feely? If you notice he seems to flirt with and touch lots of other people, it’s possible he’s just a creep.

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   Hug him back and match his intensity. If you enjoyed the hug, reciprocate if you feel up for it. Match the pressure of his hug: if he embraced you gently, embrace him gently; if he held you tight, hold him tight.^[9]

   • Even if you don’t know what his hug meant, you can return the hug if you feel comfortable. You can ask him directly what his hug meant, or you can wait to see if it becomes clearer over time.
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   Tell him how great the hug was. Let him know how much you appreciated the hug. This won’t just inform him that you acknowledged and enjoyed his embrace—it might also let him know you’d be OK being hugged in the future.

   • Of course, just because you let him hug you once doesn’t mean he has free reign to hug you whenever he wants. You can always turn down a hug.
   • Not only does regular hugging improve our mental health, so does expressing gratitude! So if you and your guy embrace to express thankfulness, you’re paving the way for great mental health.^[10]
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   Reciprocate—and then some. If you like him and you suspect his hug was romantic in nature, amp things up by pulling him closer, whispering in his ear, or giving him an extra squeeze. If he likes you, he might respond by reciprocating with these same intimate gestures.

   • If you’re not sure his hug was romantic in nature, be careful about taking things too far, just in case he only meant for his hug to be platonic.
   • You might not be able to see his expression while hugging, but pay attention to his body language: if you tighten your embrace and he tenses up or pulls away, it’s a sign he’s not comfortable.^[11]
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   Reject his hug kindly. If you don’t want to be hugged, or if you think his hug is romantic in nature and you don’t feel the same, kindly let him know. Try saying, “I’m not up for a hug, but thanks!” Or, if you don’t want to reject him directly, try interrupting the hug by sticking out your hand for a handshake.^[12]

   • If he grabs you inappropriately, call him out and push him away: try, “Don’t touch me” or “Get away from me!” Report the incident if you feel comfortable, and retreat to a place where you feel safe.^[13]

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   The true meaning of a hug depends on the context of the situation. To figure out what a hug means, consider the who, what, when, where, and why. Depending on the occasion and your dynamic with the person hugging you, the significance of the embrace may change.^[14] Someone might hug you to cheer you up if you’re feeling low, or they might wrap you in an embrace to celebrate a big win with you.

   • Is the guy in question your friend, a possible love interest, a colleague, or something else?
   • What is his behavior generally like toward you? If he doesn’t usually hug other people, the hug may mean something special.
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   The quality of a hug may indicate how much the hugger cares. Some people hug casually upon first meeting someone out of politeness, while others reserve hugs only for those they truly care for. How do you know the difference? The difference between a casual hug and a sincere one may lie in the amount of pressure exerted by the hugger, and how long the hug lasts: a long, tight embrace—with both arms, no less—may suggest the person cares a significant amount, while a quick, light embrace—or a one-armed hug—might indicate only casual affection or indifference.

   • Did he do anything while hugging you—like rub your back or maintain eye contact? How much he touched you, as well as how intense your connection was while embracing, can tell you how significant the hug was.
   • Of course, someone might also opt for a light embrace or a one-armed hug because they’re uncertain how they feel or are too shy to go for a tight hug.

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